by Beth Karzes

The emptiness of a home from the loss of a family pet can be very difficult to bear. Children may have just lost their most trusted confidant, best friend and biggest fan in addition to experiencing the death of a loved for the first time.

Don’t underestimate children when sharing the news that the family animal companion will soon die or has already passed on. You may find that you can address some fears and misconceptions your child has about death. Expressing your own grief may reassure your child that feeling sad is normal and will help them work through their feelings. It’s important for children to be able to talk about and share their feelings others that are experiencing the same loss. Misinforming them that their furry friend may have gone for a walk and never returned can cause children to continually look and worry for their lost friend. And when describing death make certain they understand the difference between death and sleep.

To help children prepare for the inevitable loss of a pet, teach your child the average life expectancy of common animal companions. This can ease the sudden realization that their furry friend won’t live as long as they will. Explain to them that they will have the honor of sharing their home with many animals throughout their life, since most companion animals have shorter life spans than people.

Begin and maintain a scrap book with photos, dog training class certificates, dog license and old name tags, puppy/kitten collars, and puppy/kitten paw prints. This fun family activity will hold a bounty of memories dedicated to your animal companion. Encourage your children to write entries into the scrap book about their pet’s funny antics, silly stories, and favorite moments shared and observed. Your child will find comfort in having the scrap book and sharing it with friends and extended family members as well as for their private reflection.

Take more walks, include your dog on weekend getaways and road trips, enroll in a fun agility, dog dancing, or fly ball class. Knowing that you incorporated your animal family members into your life as much as possible will provide your child with the reassurance that they had a full life.

To help with the healing process, have a memorial service for family members to mourn and share their memories and feelings. Plant a tree or flowering plant in your yard to memorialize your lost friend.

There are wonderful children’s fiction books whose stories follow a child after the death of their favorite pet. The Tenth Good Thing About Barney (Judith Viorst); Dog Heaven and Cat Heaven (Cynthia Rylant) and Saying Goodbye to Lulu (Corinne Demas) are among my top suggestions for young children. For teens and adults I suggest My Life in Dog Years (Gary Paulsen). The author chronicles his life from a young boy to his present adulthood through the dogs that lived with him during each decade with poignancy, insightful humor, and the soul of a true animal lover.

When your family is ready to share your home once again with an animal, consider adopting from your local animal shelter. Saving the life of a homeless animal will honor your past furry friend. If your family is not quite ready for another pet but misses the company of animals, consider volunteering. This way you can enjoy being in the company of animals and fellow animal lovers while providing much needed socialization and companionship for the homeless animals in your community.